Moronic Youtube Commentors

In theory, social media sites are a fine idea but in practice they
leave something to be desired. Youtube being one of the prime
examples. You can make your own videos and post them for the
world to see and leave them open to comments by others to get
feedback on your work.

Some people however see the comments option as an opportunity
to be a dickhead and take a shit on someone else's time and effort.
It's the internet, we all know to expect to run across these idiots
from time to time but it never ceases to amaze me that these
morons feel the overwhelming need to degrade someone else's
work by posting childishly pointless insults.

More often than not they are under thirty and have never
posted any videos themselves, most likely for the simple
reason they know what goes around comes around and
payback is Hell. I have one or two friends that post vids
to Youtube and have to give them credit for not giving into
the temptation to sink to the same level of idiocy. Though I
suspect a heartfelt "Fuck you!" would make them feel better
once in a while.

Why is this one of those things that pisses me off? Easy, anyone
capable of using a computer and getting on the internet should
be capable of acting like they have some basic manners and
remember the advice their dear old mothers should have pounded
into their thick skulls, if you don't have anything nice to say, STFU.

As it turns out, I'm not the only person that has a few personal
gripes about the subject and other little annoyances on Youtube.
What better way to express them than with humor?

The 12 Fuck you's of Youtube



Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Arrogant People

You have to love these people. By their very word they are
"The Shit". and they will gladly rub how good they are in
your face as often as they can. Personally, I think these are
people that are compensating for a smaller set of reproductive
organs.

Most of the time they are no talent hacks that are trying to
impress people with their alleged skills. On a rare occasion
they are talented people that never heard of the word humility
before. Quite often they will refer to themselves as authors, poets,
or artists and are usually just talented enough to make a ten
year old feel bad about themselves.

If they produce any of their "art" they usually tell you all
about how high the quality of the materials and workmanship
are. Quite frequently they will hang a price tag on it that would
make a Rodeo Drive boutique blush with shame. They'll also
make claims about their clientèle that deep down you know
are just pure high grade bullshit.

If they write they usually produce gibberish that makes you
have to read it several times before you decide they handed
their keyboard over to an insane chimpanzee on meth. Good
writers are easy to spot. Bad writers make you want to gouge
out both eyes and refuse to learn Braille.

What amuses me on the internet is seeing these jerks claim
they ignore hate mail and flames. If they ever stopped to
consider that they are utter pricks they might realize why
they have to ignore hate mail and flames.


Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Education and Intelligence

Over the years I have heard people expound upon the virtues of
an education time and again and agree with them for the most part.
However, they tend to forget one key point. Education is worthless
without the necessary intelligence to take advantage of it. I have
seen my share of highly educated people that were, quite bluntly,
as dumb as a box rocks. I have also seen people that lacked a formal
education that were far more perceptive than many PhDs.

What's my point? Many people falsely assume that someone who
has "earned" a degree from a university is somehow smarter than
themselves by default. For example, take a look at high level
politicians in the world today. Many of them hold degrees from
very prestigious universities and some of them are quite insightful.
But on balance most of them are people we routinely call dumbass,
idiot, or moron because of their policies. Policies that more often
than not leave us worse off than we were to begin with.

So, with that in mind, you have to ask yourself, Are all of these
Doctors and Professors really as intelligent as we give them credit
for? Or have we deluded ourselves into thinking that a piece of paper
with elegant calligraphy on it makes someone smart? It might have
worked for the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz but in the real world,
not so much.


Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Reformed (insert bad habit here)

One of those things that drives me nuts are people that used to
engage in one bad habit or another and have "seen the light" and
quit. I smoke, I drink, and I eat things that would give a cardiologist
a fit. And somewhere out there someone that used to do the same
things would be more than happy to tell me to quit with a zeal that
borders of fanaticism.

I am happy for anyone that has managed to drop some personal
vice that they felt was controlling their lives. However, what I
choose to do is my own affair. I don't need these people to point
out medical studies I am already aware of. Nor do I need someone
that was smoking two packs a day only three months ago telling
me that I should quit.

Personally, I feel these people are compelled by a modern form of
puritanism* more than they are compelled by any great concern
for a stranger's health and well being.

*Puritanism: The innate fear that somewhere, someone
is having fun.


Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Inquiring minds that want to know everything about you

Another group of idiots that has long held my disdain are those
quaint morons that want you tell them every intimate detail
of your personal life while sharing nothing themselves. What
damned business is it of theirs if you like sleeping in the nude,
the exact details of your annual income or whether or not you
subscriptions to any "adult magazines"?

None. Period.

These are usually the same turd brains that expect you to give
them a fucking dossier on yourself but always neglect to post a
single detail of their own. Or that have posted trivial details about
themselves and act as though they have posted some great
revelations about themselves. If we are posting on a forum or in
a chat room and we have known each other for less than a week
we are acquaintances not life long friends. This applies to the
real world as well. If we just bumped into each other at a party
I have no plans to share more than casual conversation with you.

Personally, If I haven't known you for at least a year online I don't
feel you have any need to know my personal details. And the only
time you have any need to know where I live is if you are doing
business with me and need a mailing address to send a check or
money order to pay me.

My favorite argument from these dicks is always the classic line,
"What are you hiding?". It's called privacy, morons. It comes
from same part of human nature that makes us want those lovely
drapes in our homes or a lock on the desk drawer. Once on a forum
one of these inquiring minds informed me that they didn't feel the
need for anonymity. Oh, really? Then why use a screen name, why
not use your real name instead? Instead of a cute little avatar, why
not use your own picture instead? Because we're online. Some of us
view the internet as being at least in part escapism from our normal
lives, most of which are spectacularly boring.


Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Religious Hypocrisy

It has been my distinct displeasure in my lifetime to have
encountered my fair share of religious hypocrites. No matter
what faith they profess to be they all have pretty much the
same general characteristics. They'll go around gleefully
beating you over the head with what ever book they claim
is the word of God. All the while doing things that fly in the
face of the very same things they have been preaching at
you.

All organized religions, even the ones that claim they aren't
organized, are pretty much full of shit in my honest opinion.
I will point out now that for all of the hypocrites I have seen,
I have seen a few that earned my respect for actually practicing
what they preached and were willing to allow others their beliefs
without giving them some moronic sermon about how they were
praying the wrong way.

Let me make it clear now before I go any farther, I am not
going to single out any one group. In the ten or so years I
have been online, I have taken the opportunity to read as
much as can to learn as many points of view as I could and
spent enough time in libraries reading enough religious books
that I have been asked what my major was! On the surface
all religions look good. It's when you get under the hood you
begin to see what's what and that all of them are about the
same when you get to the heart of the matter.

I've seen my share of people quoting one version or another
of the golden rule, 'Do unto others as you would have them do
unto you', 'An' harm to none, do as ye will' and several others
that are less well known. Of course not long after I see them
quoting these things, I see them doing unto others in a way that
would make a divorce lawyer proud.

To the people that are true to their beliefs, my hat's off to you.
To the hypocrites, kindly STFU and take the time to read that
book you're thumping!

Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Long Winded Idiots

If you've spent a lot of time of the internet you have seen these
people. They'll take ten or fifteen paragraphs to make a one
paragraph point. Usually these twerps want to make a point to
include insignificant or irrelevant details that have only marginal
bearing on the topic at hand. There are times when you need to
include extra details to clarify something, just as long as those
details are pertinent to what you writing about.

You'll see them posting blogs or posting on forums. Usually they
are the ones that you tend to skim over what they posted in the
faint (read: infinitesimal) hope that somewhere in their meandering
text are the few pieces of information you are looking for. More
often than not you have to wade through their pointless tripe only
to discover that they haven't got a fucking clue as to what they are
talking about.

As a rule, I try to be concise in what I post on the internet. I
learned from long experience and lots of wading through crap
that no one wants to read fifteen pointless paragraphs of bullshit
when all they need is one paragraph that gives them the facts.

Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Forum Follies

Yeah, I've posted on my share forums. Even own(ed) a few.
I've seen pretty much everything you can see on a forum.
And that's too damned much some days. I've seen people
that were as two faced as you can get. Post about how much
they like someone on one forum and then run to another forum
and stick a knife in their back using another screen name. And
I've seen people that were as friendly as can be get raked over
the coals for not wanting to share every little detail of their
personal lives with every Tom, Dick(head), and Harry that
demanded to know what they were hiding.

Real class acts, ya know.

Trolls, flamers, idiots, pseudo intellectuals, and amazingly
enough a few honest posters now and then that get caught
in the crossfire. Eventually some learn to get nasty and
give as good as they get, some just roll on and pretend getting
flamed for just showing up doesn't bother them, or the ones
that just give up and never post again. I always feel kinda sorry
for the ones that see every little quip as a personal attack.
Those are usually the ones that learned to get too nasty and see
trolls in their Wheaties. It always pisses me off to see good
posters give up and never try again. You always miss the
good ones.

The bad ones never seem to take the hint and get lost.

Then you've got your Admins and Mods. Some are good.
Some are bad. And some leave you wondering exactly
what damned planet they're on and how they manage to
even turn their computer on without calling technical support.
(No, I am not exaggerating here.)

One of those little things that gets me pissed off, is how some
forum Admins never figured out that the term "reach around'
applies to internet forums too. If you don't know what it means
just Google it, I'll wait.

...

Ok, you've looked it up and are wondering WTF that has to
do with a forum. Simple enough, When you own a forum
yourself and another forum's owner is one of your members
you expect a certain unspoken agreement, I post at your forum
and you give me the benefit of a reach around and post at mine.
But this is where we get back to those self centered self absorbed
assholes I spoke of in my first entry. They're the ones that are
utterly clueless as to why you eventually gave up posting at
their forum and get haughty when you call them on it.
(Me, jaded? Never... Ok, you can stop laughing now.)

And so many other types too...

The cryptic posters that post shit so cryptically you have to
wonder if they even know WTF they're talking about.

The ones that think they have to use their own bizarre version
of English that requires you to read their crap four times to figure
WTF they said. And no, these are usually dickheads that can write
English perfectly well not someone that is doing the best they can
because English is a second language to them.

The Shit Stirrers, I love these geeks. They dig up some tired
old shit someone said in a heated moment four months ago
that everyone has forgotten about just so they can create
some pointless drama and "excitement", mostly for their
own amusement.

Drama Queens, Oh, the drama! The pathos! The unadulterated
bullshit! Every little problem is a new adventure for them. Chipped
nails, spam in their email, sudden persistent flatulence...

Attention Whores, look at me, look at me, I'm hot shit!
I'd give them five bucks to sell their computers and never
get online again if I thought they'd go down that cheap.

The ones that want to share every little detail of their
lives with everyone... including their sex lives... on a chat
forum. Fine, you want to talk about your favorite position
or your newest dildo, go for it! Just do it somewhere no
one will have to explain what a blowjob is to their kids!

And one final one before I sign off...

Backlinks Whores, these are usually other webmasters
that have zero interest in discussing anything or posting
anything really useful unless they think it will get them
a Google page rank of five by the end of the month. Or
at the least draw in a few new members for their own
forum if they have one. You'll know them on sight. They
post about trivial shit 90% of the time and occasionally
will post something that on the surface looks interesting
but puts you to sleep after the first two sentences. But you
will always see one thing very clearly, the link to their
site(s). As many times as they can get away with and just
barely avoid being called a spam bot.


Yours truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Welcome to Hell...

Have a seat and read a fifty year old magazine while they sharpen
the prongs on the rusty pitchfork.

haha My sense of humor, twisted and warped as it may be.

But that isn't why we're here, now is it?

No, this is my own little blog to vent my frustration and call
people asshole that are utterly clueless to their own innate
assholeiness. (yes, that's a word, I just made it one.)

Will I be naming names? Nope. This blog is a general rant not
directed at any one asshole or group of assholes. What I will be
blogging about are things that just generally piss me off.

Who am I? I'm Mr Niceguy, the walking talking doormat that
takes shit with a smile. The person that says please and thank you
and gets a boot in the balls for being even remotely thoughtful
and nice. No, I'm not going to say that applies to everyone. Just
the self centered self absorbed asswipes that seem so prevalent
on the internet and in the world in general.

You've probably run across a few of these dickheads yourself.
It's always "me me me" with these walking piles of feces. They
post stupid comments on blogs along the lines of "Ur blog sux!"
or post moronic comments on Youtube vids. And my favorite
assholes, Oh yeah, I got my faves, these spamming assholes
that think posting a link to their site every post is going to get
them visitors and then they wonder why their comments get
deleted and their asses get banned!

If by some remote chance in Hell one of these self absorbed
pricks should pull their head out of their ass long enough to
show someone even a remote amount of common courtesy they
act like they just went out of their way and expect you to give
them public kudos for it.
(Fine. they can have a Milkbone if they'll just STFU.)

And here you are reading this rolling your eyes saying to yourself,
why the fuck didn't I just look at the blog about kittens instead?!

Yours truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)