Forum Follies

Yeah, I've posted on my share forums. Even own(ed) a few.
I've seen pretty much everything you can see on a forum.
And that's too damned much some days. I've seen people
that were as two faced as you can get. Post about how much
they like someone on one forum and then run to another forum
and stick a knife in their back using another screen name. And
I've seen people that were as friendly as can be get raked over
the coals for not wanting to share every little detail of their
personal lives with every Tom, Dick(head), and Harry that
demanded to know what they were hiding.

Real class acts, ya know.

Trolls, flamers, idiots, pseudo intellectuals, and amazingly
enough a few honest posters now and then that get caught
in the crossfire. Eventually some learn to get nasty and
give as good as they get, some just roll on and pretend getting
flamed for just showing up doesn't bother them, or the ones
that just give up and never post again. I always feel kinda sorry
for the ones that see every little quip as a personal attack.
Those are usually the ones that learned to get too nasty and see
trolls in their Wheaties. It always pisses me off to see good
posters give up and never try again. You always miss the
good ones.

The bad ones never seem to take the hint and get lost.

Then you've got your Admins and Mods. Some are good.
Some are bad. And some leave you wondering exactly
what damned planet they're on and how they manage to
even turn their computer on without calling technical support.
(No, I am not exaggerating here.)

One of those little things that gets me pissed off, is how some
forum Admins never figured out that the term "reach around'
applies to internet forums too. If you don't know what it means
just Google it, I'll wait.

...

Ok, you've looked it up and are wondering WTF that has to
do with a forum. Simple enough, When you own a forum
yourself and another forum's owner is one of your members
you expect a certain unspoken agreement, I post at your forum
and you give me the benefit of a reach around and post at mine.
But this is where we get back to those self centered self absorbed
assholes I spoke of in my first entry. They're the ones that are
utterly clueless as to why you eventually gave up posting at
their forum and get haughty when you call them on it.
(Me, jaded? Never... Ok, you can stop laughing now.)

And so many other types too...

The cryptic posters that post shit so cryptically you have to
wonder if they even know WTF they're talking about.

The ones that think they have to use their own bizarre version
of English that requires you to read their crap four times to figure
WTF they said. And no, these are usually dickheads that can write
English perfectly well not someone that is doing the best they can
because English is a second language to them.

The Shit Stirrers, I love these geeks. They dig up some tired
old shit someone said in a heated moment four months ago
that everyone has forgotten about just so they can create
some pointless drama and "excitement", mostly for their
own amusement.

Drama Queens, Oh, the drama! The pathos! The unadulterated
bullshit! Every little problem is a new adventure for them. Chipped
nails, spam in their email, sudden persistent flatulence...

Attention Whores, look at me, look at me, I'm hot shit!
I'd give them five bucks to sell their computers and never
get online again if I thought they'd go down that cheap.

The ones that want to share every little detail of their
lives with everyone... including their sex lives... on a chat
forum. Fine, you want to talk about your favorite position
or your newest dildo, go for it! Just do it somewhere no
one will have to explain what a blowjob is to their kids!

And one final one before I sign off...

Backlinks Whores, these are usually other webmasters
that have zero interest in discussing anything or posting
anything really useful unless they think it will get them
a Google page rank of five by the end of the month. Or
at the least draw in a few new members for their own
forum if they have one. You'll know them on sight. They
post about trivial shit 90% of the time and occasionally
will post something that on the surface looks interesting
but puts you to sleep after the first two sentences. But you
will always see one thing very clearly, the link to their
site(s). As many times as they can get away with and just
barely avoid being called a spam bot.


Yours truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)