Real friendships have no strings attached

It has been my experience that many people view friendship
as a means to an end. To my way of thinking this is just plain
wrong. A friend is someone you like and are willing to help
and will help you without asking for or expecting anything in
return.

This also means not making any strange demands or having
any requirements or restriction to be your friend. The only
thing any friend should expect is that you respect each others
privacy and be given your space when it is need it. If I don't
call or come around for a long while it isn't because we aren't
friends anymore, it is because I have my own life to live and
may be too busy and forget or simply can't spare the time.

I have learned to accept my friends for who and what they are.
Sometimes I disagree with their viewpoint and ideas but in
the end I understand that those ideas and viewpoints are part
of what makes them themselves; Part of what made me like
them to begin with. And all I ask is they do the same for me.

Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Poverty does not equate with stupidity

It has been my experience that many people erroneously believe
that the poor are stupid, ignorant, lazy, and generally uneducated.
The "logic" applied here is that if they weren't stupid they'd have a
job and money.

Wrong.

Sometimes you find yourself in a place were you have limited or
no real opportunities. There are also times when someone decides
to have a go at it and work for themselves and find that they are
having a hard time due to external influences like a weak economy
or an unexpected illness.

I have known my share of people that were down on their luck that
were probably sharper mentally than many PHD's. One friend of
mine who was a college graduate spent better than ten years bagging
groceries at the same store not because he was stupid or lazy
but simply because he hadn't seen any opportunities to apply his
degree. Somehow, I doubt asking people if they wanted paper or
plastic was what he envisioned when he graduated!

And then we have the truly poor, the homeless. Too many people
tend to either look down on them or let their eyes slide over them
and pretend to not see them. Occasionally some smartass will yell
at them to, "Get a job ya bum!". If they could get a job, do you
they would be homeless, slackwit?! In the current economic
climate, it makes me wonder just how many people will and
have found themselves in this position.

Now I have to take a cheap shot at the previous administration.
George W Bush, a Harvard MBA and obscenely wealthy. And about
as sharp a bowling ball! Now if someone will kindly apply that
"logic" I spoke of early to this case...

Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Moronic Youtube Commentors

In theory, social media sites are a fine idea but in practice they
leave something to be desired. Youtube being one of the prime
examples. You can make your own videos and post them for the
world to see and leave them open to comments by others to get
feedback on your work.

Some people however see the comments option as an opportunity
to be a dickhead and take a shit on someone else's time and effort.
It's the internet, we all know to expect to run across these idiots
from time to time but it never ceases to amaze me that these
morons feel the overwhelming need to degrade someone else's
work by posting childishly pointless insults.

More often than not they are under thirty and have never
posted any videos themselves, most likely for the simple
reason they know what goes around comes around and
payback is Hell. I have one or two friends that post vids
to Youtube and have to give them credit for not giving into
the temptation to sink to the same level of idiocy. Though I
suspect a heartfelt "Fuck you!" would make them feel better
once in a while.

Why is this one of those things that pisses me off? Easy, anyone
capable of using a computer and getting on the internet should
be capable of acting like they have some basic manners and
remember the advice their dear old mothers should have pounded
into their thick skulls, if you don't have anything nice to say, STFU.

As it turns out, I'm not the only person that has a few personal
gripes about the subject and other little annoyances on Youtube.
What better way to express them than with humor?

The 12 Fuck you's of Youtube



Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Arrogant People

You have to love these people. By their very word they are
"The Shit". and they will gladly rub how good they are in
your face as often as they can. Personally, I think these are
people that are compensating for a smaller set of reproductive
organs.

Most of the time they are no talent hacks that are trying to
impress people with their alleged skills. On a rare occasion
they are talented people that never heard of the word humility
before. Quite often they will refer to themselves as authors, poets,
or artists and are usually just talented enough to make a ten
year old feel bad about themselves.

If they produce any of their "art" they usually tell you all
about how high the quality of the materials and workmanship
are. Quite frequently they will hang a price tag on it that would
make a Rodeo Drive boutique blush with shame. They'll also
make claims about their clientèle that deep down you know
are just pure high grade bullshit.

If they write they usually produce gibberish that makes you
have to read it several times before you decide they handed
their keyboard over to an insane chimpanzee on meth. Good
writers are easy to spot. Bad writers make you want to gouge
out both eyes and refuse to learn Braille.

What amuses me on the internet is seeing these jerks claim
they ignore hate mail and flames. If they ever stopped to
consider that they are utter pricks they might realize why
they have to ignore hate mail and flames.


Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Education and Intelligence

Over the years I have heard people expound upon the virtues of
an education time and again and agree with them for the most part.
However, they tend to forget one key point. Education is worthless
without the necessary intelligence to take advantage of it. I have
seen my share of highly educated people that were, quite bluntly,
as dumb as a box rocks. I have also seen people that lacked a formal
education that were far more perceptive than many PhDs.

What's my point? Many people falsely assume that someone who
has "earned" a degree from a university is somehow smarter than
themselves by default. For example, take a look at high level
politicians in the world today. Many of them hold degrees from
very prestigious universities and some of them are quite insightful.
But on balance most of them are people we routinely call dumbass,
idiot, or moron because of their policies. Policies that more often
than not leave us worse off than we were to begin with.

So, with that in mind, you have to ask yourself, Are all of these
Doctors and Professors really as intelligent as we give them credit
for? Or have we deluded ourselves into thinking that a piece of paper
with elegant calligraphy on it makes someone smart? It might have
worked for the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz but in the real world,
not so much.


Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Reformed (insert bad habit here)

One of those things that drives me nuts are people that used to
engage in one bad habit or another and have "seen the light" and
quit. I smoke, I drink, and I eat things that would give a cardiologist
a fit. And somewhere out there someone that used to do the same
things would be more than happy to tell me to quit with a zeal that
borders of fanaticism.

I am happy for anyone that has managed to drop some personal
vice that they felt was controlling their lives. However, what I
choose to do is my own affair. I don't need these people to point
out medical studies I am already aware of. Nor do I need someone
that was smoking two packs a day only three months ago telling
me that I should quit.

Personally, I feel these people are compelled by a modern form of
puritanism* more than they are compelled by any great concern
for a stranger's health and well being.

*Puritanism: The innate fear that somewhere, someone
is having fun.


Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)

Inquiring minds that want to know everything about you

Another group of idiots that has long held my disdain are those
quaint morons that want you tell them every intimate detail
of your personal life while sharing nothing themselves. What
damned business is it of theirs if you like sleeping in the nude,
the exact details of your annual income or whether or not you
subscriptions to any "adult magazines"?

None. Period.

These are usually the same turd brains that expect you to give
them a fucking dossier on yourself but always neglect to post a
single detail of their own. Or that have posted trivial details about
themselves and act as though they have posted some great
revelations about themselves. If we are posting on a forum or in
a chat room and we have known each other for less than a week
we are acquaintances not life long friends. This applies to the
real world as well. If we just bumped into each other at a party
I have no plans to share more than casual conversation with you.

Personally, If I haven't known you for at least a year online I don't
feel you have any need to know my personal details. And the only
time you have any need to know where I live is if you are doing
business with me and need a mailing address to send a check or
money order to pay me.

My favorite argument from these dicks is always the classic line,
"What are you hiding?". It's called privacy, morons. It comes
from same part of human nature that makes us want those lovely
drapes in our homes or a lock on the desk drawer. Once on a forum
one of these inquiring minds informed me that they didn't feel the
need for anonymity. Oh, really? Then why use a screen name, why
not use your real name instead? Instead of a cute little avatar, why
not use your own picture instead? Because we're online. Some of us
view the internet as being at least in part escapism from our normal
lives, most of which are spectacularly boring.


Yours Truly,

Dick McPlenty P.I. (pissed indefinitely)